Cal’s Blog

I tried. I really did. Today I tried to be a “good” mother. I volunteered to pick up a friends kid from school as she’s back in Australia for a couple of weeks. I met a friend for coffee beforehand and as I had a few minutes to spare until playgroup let out thought I might treat my boys (inc. my surrogate for the next 30 minutes) to a shiny helium balloon each. Creativitiy and patience took a dive as soon as I entered the balloon store and I pointed to the closest Elmo and asked for three. “Three of the same?”, said the lovely lady in the shop. “Ja” I replied impatiently (the dutch word for “yes” is about my grasp of the language. That, and “can I have three more beers please”). She hands over three balloons which are on two metres of ribbon and weighted down with some plastic piece of crap to stop them flying away.

At 11.45 sharp I turned up at playgroup for the little sweetie (who, BTW, is INCREDIBLY cute!). I had stashed the balloons in the car before going into the school as I didn’t want to create a riot. Looking back maybe I should have taken the balloons in with me, just to show the other parents what a good mother I am. Anyway, pick up Curly (let’s call him that, he has the most delish curly brown hair) and stuff both him and my youngest into the car. Curly’s very excited to see three balloons and asks me who they’re for. I told him I bought him one, batted it into the back so he could play with it and drove off. Feeling pretty damn good with myself at this stage.

Within seconds I’m regretting the balloons. I can’t see jackshit, the stoopid things are being batted into the front, Elmo’s fucking smarmy smile is bouncing around in front of me and the traffic is terrible. I finally get them in the back when the traffic starts to move again and I hear a small voice “my seatbelt isn’t on”. Shit. I’ve got no choice but to stop the car in the traffic, get out, wave apologetically to everyone, do the seatbelt up (which for some reason no longer fits in the lock thingy) and get moving. It doesn’t take long for the drivers to get impatient and start honking. I resisted the urge to start wildly gesturing with my fingers, climbed back in the car and, once securely in, let rip at the bastards. I had totally forgotten that I had a two year old and three year old in the car and when I looked back saw four huge, round, unblinking eyes staring at me.

I like to think I taught these kids a few new words to add to their ever-growing vocabulary. I know Curly’s parents won’t thank me though and I will deny all knowledge if questioned. Oh yes …. I will.

Posted on May 24th, 2007 by Cal
Filed under: Uncategorized